This is Hard for Me
“I am a person who needs you to listen, simply listen, hear me say 'this is hard for me', not offer an answer or solution,” writes Lana Hechtman Ayers. And we are in agreement that there is a move, an opening, a 'coming alongside' one another that is the first move to make when someone brings us their difficulty, or pain. For many of us, this is not at all easy to do. Later, perhaps, when a request is made, it could well be time for us to bring a response. But first, before that, how do we quiet ourselves enough, and make enough welcome inside of us, that we can be the ones who meet others with sufficient dignity and welcome to be with them right where they are? And how do we set aside our own need to be right, be complete, and know what to do, so that we can be that for them?
Later, perhaps, when a request is made, it could well be time for us to bring a response. But first, before that, how do we quiet ourselves enough, and make enough welcome inside of us, that we can be the ones who meet others with sufficient dignity and welcome to be with them right where they are? And how do we set aside our own need to be right, be complete, and know what to do, so that we can be that for them?
Hosted, as always, by Lizzie Winn and Justin Wise of Thirdspace.
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Turning Towards Life, a week-by-week conversation inviting us deeply into our lives, is a live 30 minute conversation hosted by Justin Wise and Lizzie Winn of Thirdspace. Find us on FaceBook to watch live and join in the lively conversation on this episode. You can find videos of every episode, and more about the project on the Turning Towards Life website, and you can also watch and listen on Instagram, YouTube, and as a podcast on Apple, Google, Amazon Music and Spotify.
Here’s our source for this week:
This Is Hard for Me
for Lizzie Winn & Justin Wise
I am not the broken mug in the sink,
handle snapped off,
fixable with a few dabs
of quick glue.
Nor am I the unmoored board
sticking up on the walkway
that a couple of steel nails
and even-handed whacks
with a hammer
will resolve.
I am not even the small pearl
button popped off the white
cotton shirt
that simple needle and thread
will neatly address.
I am a person who needs
you to listen, simply listen,
hear me say This is hard for me,
not offer an answer
or solution,
just caress my hand softly
as a fine rain,
a time for you
to be silent
and hold my struggle
as you would a precious newborn
already asleep in your arms.
Lana Hechtman Ayers
Photo credit / Arturo Rey on Unsplash