Learning Publicly: the unfolding of self-clarity, after late-identifying as autistic / AuDHD

Tightly attuned for survival
teaches you: to be oriented to how other people see you.

Then comes: a late-diagnosis/self-identifying as autistic, or AuDHD
opening a door, unfolding a second adolescence, that doesn't match your age, and the "supposed to have done X by now"s:

supposed to know what I like
supposed to know how to do life
supposed to have a job, kids, partner(s), purpose, blah blah by now,
supposed to know what I really feel and what I really want by now
supposed to be living that already by now
supposed to know WHO I am, by now

That AGE COMPARISON,
in the unacknowledged context of survival,

creates a sense of loss;
shoulda woulda coulda
IF ONLY I'd known earlier.

Yes, if only. It hurts. And -
We are a product of our times;
of so much before our times
of so much outside of our own spheres of influence
and yet
here we are.
EXISTING.

Here you are.
Still alive to find out.
Still alive to re-write the story of WHO you are
based on what you did next.

That journey of WHO AM I NEXT?
means:
learning publicly.

Giving over to a process of sharing the process of finding out who you are,
visibly.

Of being someone who is re-oriented to inner self
in order to FIND OUT.
And letting go of the shame of
not knowing (how)
so you can GET to know WHO you became next.

That willingness to learn publicly, transforms the sense of loss
into mind-blowing unfolding
of finding out.

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TRANSCRIPT

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The Unmasking Unschool Podcast is for autistic visionaries, creatives and change-makers. Who are seeking to exit the burnout cycles, pathology paradigms, masks and self-negations of the past that keep you stuck, and want to realise the self-reinventions, life pivots and culture-shifting projects to become your boldest most authentic self.
Hosted by Louisa Shaeri, artist, coach, cultural activator, founder of SOLA Systems.
Learn more at solasystems.xyz