Not the Topiary!

Feb 13, 06:15 AM

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Heather and Cynthia are back, and Heather willingly chose an 8 a.m. mammogram, post–Super Bowl, and showed up with enough energy to be invited back daily by the staff. (Why strangers get the best version of us remains a mystery worth studying.)

From there, things escalate quickly—Olympics confusion, a headline that probably requires earbuds if your kids are nearby, and Cynthia deeply misunderstanding what the “Quad God” actually refers to. There’s also a serious exploration of which Winter Olympic sport is best suited for hot flashes, gravity, and middle-aged mom bodies.

They also cover: 1.) teen slang that absolutely should not have been rebranded 2.) A family text thread that goes off the rails thanks to geology class and 3.) stranger who chose the wrong front yard, the wrong Amazon package, and the wrong topiary.

If you like stories that start normal and end with, “Wait… WHAT just happened?”—this one’s for you.
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